How I got my Migraines!

I figured this would be the best time to play a game of catch up... If this part gets a little redundant or boring I'm apologizing now.. I just figured, that if I started off by going into whats going on now in life things would be way confusing for you all!



So hmmmm lets start from the very beginning... Back in high school, it was October 13 2000 to be exact, my really good friend Shannon, had moved away back down to Los Angeles, due to some trouble she had gotten into while she was living with her Aunt and Uncle up here.. Well, on one of her visits back here we decided to go to one of our famous High school football games, its the game of all games here in my town, where just about everyone shows up from all over, the streets are crowded with cars, and people, rivals are throwing dirty looks at our locals, tensions are high, and every one's hoping their team will win! As Shannon and I walked around and mingled with people we hadn't seen in while from the local high school, (since we both attended the continuation school, to graduate early), suddenly down from the hill walked Donald,, Tall dark and hot, was more his style, he was a bad boy, he had tattoos, he obviously older than both Shannon and I both, by at least a few years, he had a leather jacket on that night. How I remember that all these years later I really don't know, especially being that I cant remember what I did 30 seconds ago, but I do... He had these green eyes that when they locked on to mine, my knees literally became weak, and I almost didn't know what to do with myself... At first all we did was exchange flirty glances,  but as I looked over my shoulder to see what he was doing or where he was going, I seen him turn back towards us, and come up behind me. With that I knew I had him Hook n Line!  As we made it to the top of the hill, he stopped me and asked me what my name was, long story short... Red flag should have been his name because they followed him like the plague on a squirrel,  or herpes from a one night stand in Vegas... He told me his name was Joey, which was a lie, it was actually Donald, he said he was 19 when he was 25, he told me he was single when he was actually engaged to a girl he had been seeing since she was 15, he told me sooo many lies, that I honestly cant remember all of them anymore! The sad part was, it only took me two weeks to find out that this seemingly sweet, good looking guy, was a wolf in sheep's clothing, he went from spending money on expensive gifts for dates, clothes, and whatever I wanted, to beating me so bad one night, that he almost killed me, and made sure that he told me over and over that his plan was to kill me that night! I was never more scared in my life! And believe me, my life has been filed with scariness, and times where I have on the edge of death, once by a drunk drive, once by someone who claimed to be a friend,  and now this?.. How much more is a person supposed to take right? But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? yes!!!!!

That night, I can proudly say, the cops were called, and Donald was taken to jail, and I did press charges against him, and I never dropped the charges.. Because I feel that no woman out there, deserves that, you didn't ask for it, despite the few people that told me I did, I know I didn't! There is something wrong with a man if he feels it is okay to put his hands on a woman, and hurt her.. But that's not to say that I condone a woman putting her hands on a man either domestic violence is never an answer to anything and only makes things worse for every one! Although in the eyes of the court I guess you can say and society I was on the verge of being an adult, at 17 I was still mentally vulnerable and that assault set me back a lot, and even now I still have issues from it, anytime people yell or scream, I still have flashbacks, when someone is drinking and gets a little aggressive, or when I am in a relationship with someone and I get into an argument with them I am the first one that wants to back down because I am scared deep down that they are going to snap like he did that night.. Not to mention all the other shit that has happened in the past that has shaped me to be who I am today, there are times that I go from an adult to a child dying to hide in the corner of the room and cry to get away from it all and hope that no one sees me and can't target me for any of it!

Its funny cuz a ex of mine who is one of my best friends now, tells me all the time I am stronger than I think I am, or that I let on, and sometimes I think its an act I put on, to protect myself, from others, so they don't see the real me, they don't see that I am really messed up, and broken, from all the damage, that has been done. People say all the time you shouldn't hold on to the past, because you can't you change it blah blah blah... Okay so that's true, but what happens when the past, is what made you who are today, effects you everyday because every time you think your over it, something complication from something that happens pops up! Such as my assault, when I went into the Emergency room that morning, to have my head checked out because of damage he had caused, I found out that I had a severe concussion, and was told that I would have to be monitored at home closely and that if I had any changes or was unable to wake up call 911. But by the next day I was back in the Emergency room because I was feeling pain I had never felt before, I was experiencing what would be my first and by no means my last migraine, test after test, MRI after MRI, Cat scan after Cat scan, nothing out of the normal was coming up, but the pain, omg, the pain, just got worse... The the relief would come, for a few days, I would have no migraine pain at all, if I was lucky, I might go a month or two without pain, but that was very rear when that when happen, but when the pain would come back it was like it came back with vengeance, and would stick around for weeks, if not a month at a time, and then go away for an hour to a day and back again... It suddenly became a cycle of migraine, pain, doctor medication, more migraine, pain, doctor, and repeat.

It was an endless cycle of nowhere, no one seemed to be able to help me, or be able to give me anything that could actually help, and anytime I would go to a new doctor in hopes to get a fresh look at things, I would always ask the same questions, are migraines, like seizures every time you have does it cause damage to the brain? Do I run a risk of having issues or other problems because I was assaulted and ended up with migraines? Could I have a brain tumor that developed from the assault? All my questions went unanswered as normal by doctors because I guess I sounded like a crazy person? I don't know... I just wanted answers after so many years of dealing with them!

Well as years went by the Migraines and medications started to almost counteract with each other, in a way like the migraines took on a mind of their own, and when it was time to take the medications, they knew, and I could feel the migraines just get worse, and almost get angry like it hated the medication or something.. Its a stomach turning, body aching, disgusting feeling.. Everything hurts! And it didn't matter what I took, it could be the Perscirption Medication, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Vicodin, Excedrin, Valerian Root, You name it, it would set my migraines off like an explosion!

The begining

 To start off I have never considered writing a blog, nor have I ever even writing a blog before! So I am giving it my best shot! 

 Its been a long a road to here.. In June, of 2012, well to be exact June 6 around 11:30pm 2012 I was told by an ER Dr. I have Pituitary Tumor... Shocking huh? Try on my shoes for that second. All I came in for was a migraine, I am 29 years old I am wayyyy to young to have a brain tumor... Maybe someone who is really unhealthy, or really old, but not me... I am not the brain tumor type.. plus whats a pituitary tumor? It cancerous? can it be removed? Lets take it out right now!! Screw blood work, wheres the surgeon, HELLO!!!!! LETS TAKE IT OUT!!! Why is no one answering my questions... Okay screw this wheres the nearest exit, cuz you all have the wrong the patient.. RUN AWAY, DEAR GOD THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!!!!!!

My name is Shirley, and I am 29, and here's my story... Growing up, I was the baby, the baby of 6 siblings 3 brothers and 3 sisters, total Brady bunch sounding huh? Okay so not really... Everyone was at least 6 years older than me, and by the time I came along only a few were still living at home, but that doesn't decount the strong bond my brother billy and I have.. Even to this day, you can see it in his eyes when he looks at him, I am still more like his little girl than his sister, more so than my other sisters. My brother and I are like two peas and pod, anywhere he was you would find me,  whether it was working on the car, hanging out with friends, playing video games, watching TV or whatever it was, if he was there, so was I. That's my BUBBA! But thats not not what defies me as who I am, I am an animal lover, a person who can't stand to see homeless people on street with pets, its not right, they never asked come with that person, they belong in a safe environment, where they get food on a regular basis, shelter, you know the same things a child should get.. I know, I may sound a little ridiculous, but its my opinion and how I feel.. That's how my pets get treated... They are like my children! I am the first person, to help anyone in need, I donate as much as I can and as often as I can, I love crafts, like painting, building things, gardening, scrap booking, photography, working on cars, and seriously the list goes on and on!

A question just popped into my head: How would the person who knows you best describe you:
 I thought this is a good questions for this blog entry!  She, who is my best friend, that I consider her one of my sisters, her name is Stacy, she would say, I am every girl rolled into one! I am the sweetest person you will ever met, when I am good mood, I am biggest bitch, when I am in bad mood, I am the wild child, who never listens to the word NO,  I am very spontaneous,  distracted easily, determined, powerful, discouraged, inspired, serious, funny, down to earth, wild, crazy, and I have many layers to get through, I dont trust easy, but I'm loving... I am the girl you have to get to know, to know all the description!